Finding a Way to Move

 I feel better when I move. I don't always want to. I don't always feel like it. Most of the time, I do because I know that once I get up off the couch, I feel better in my head and my body, well, mostly my back. The hips and feet are trying to figure out a way for me to walk on my hands, but my arms and shoulders are busy laughing, so, yeah, that's not happening.

Anywho -- most days, I walk and do yoga. Those days there's less ache in the joints, in my neck, and my brain is calmer. Figuring out what worked and what didn't took a while.

I used to run. Well, okay - with my short legs, I could go as fast as I could and it would be jogging for most people. I jogged. Before I joined the Air Force, I didn't. I did for a few months in college to beat the infamous 'Freshman Fifteen', then tried every crazy thing going around to keep weight off. Except smoking and drugs. Nope. Never did those. But in the Air Force? Running was part of the deal. So I ran. Because I had to. Then, after turning my world upside-down and leaving my ex with 3 little boys, I rediscovered running. And fell in love with it. Two, two and a half miles, along hills, and it was the tonic I needed. Just me and Journey wailing in my headphones as my feet pounded along the sidewalks. I lost weight, cleared my mind (sort of) and kept everyone around me happy because others saw me running and figured I was fine.

I thought I was. I was good at telling myself everything was all right. That I had everything under control. I didn't. But I'd put the headphones on, tie my sneakers and fake it. Wheel In the Sky still brings back memories.

Fast forward a couple decades, more or less (okay, more). I can't run. Can't jog. Can't even do high impact aerobics. I argued with my body for years. All of a sudden, I wanted to jog, do the high impact stuff. I pushed to get through all the exercise programs that were out there. And could barely walk. Seriously, there were times when my dad would look at me and say I looked like I was thirty years older than him. This coming from a man who'd had several operation on both knees and a hip! 

A chiropractor took Xrays and, with my oldest who wanted to know what was wrong with his mother (physically!) before he left for Marine Bootcamp, and it wasn't pretty. You know those plastic models of the spine in doctors' offices? The Doc picked up his, gestured at the Xray and said, 'If I made this look like your back and neck, it would break. I don't know how you're not constantly in tears." My son looked at him - she is. What does she do to stop hurting?' 

No running. No jogging. Absolutely no high impact. My lower back and my neck couldn't take anymore. I fought it. Kept arguing, sort of, with my body. It took a few more years for my mind to accept that verdict. So began my quest to find something I could do. Something I could enjoy, something I would keep doing. At first, I was 'ugh. There's nothing out there!'

Oh, I was so wrong! So, so wrong. Besides walking, which I absolutely love - how easy could it be? Sneakers tied, headphones in, hat on head and out the door I go! There is yoga which I'm still exploring - it seems as if every time I open YogaJournal there's something new. But there is still more! Callanectics and BalletBeautiful - both absolutely amazing for tightening my body in the shortest time ever! Dancing - all sorts. I love bellydance - I don't even try to do the headrolls, and keep things slow until I've done the routines a few times to build up my strength, but the core workout is incredible. And upper body? Do snake arms for ten minutes. Does wonders for loosening the upper back muscles. And Zumba! Oh, I love my Zumba. Best thing since my Air Force Basic training instructor for making me mix up my right foot from my left foot. Lol. And there's always the 'crank up the music and go dancing around the house for twenty minutes or so' routine to lift the mood - I start with 'Old Time Rock'n'Roll' and let loose. 

So, if your doctor says there are things you can't do, then turn it around and say 'what can I do?' And start asking - walking, yoga, dancing, swimming (I didn't mention it earlier because I don't have access to a pool). There is something you can do. Even if you can only do a few minutes a day at first, and add on slowly. It's a step. It's YOU moving where you weren't before and that's a good thing.